DISCLAIMER: These materials are not endorsed, approved, sponsored,
or provided by or on behalf of the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville.
The views and opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of CAT,
the hosts or anyone else in their right mind. Child-like discretion is advised while
we take our minds out and play with them.
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1/8/96
One Whirled View with Roger Henry and Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Music: Burl Ives
Biblical Interpretation: William Shatner
Sponsored by the Friends for Fermentation
Financial Arrangements: Wells Fargo
Spell Checker: Mack Wright
Catering: Uncle Karl’s Karmic Chesapeake Cheeseburgers
Gotta Go!
“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen … Nobody knows but Lassie.”
So long! Or, as your local retail giant might say, “Good buy!”
Next episode, the role of Roger Henry will be played by Dan Vega, Dan Vega will be played by Jack Nicholson.
Love theme sung by Rod Stewart, Composed by Merle Haggard
That’s it! We’re outta here! Absolutely no more! Not one bit! nada! nothing!
Don’t even ask!
Clips from Audio:
“The only way to cope with something deadly serious is to try to treat it a little lightly.”
“1/10/1918 – Calico Rock got 36 inches snow in single fall.”
Topics:
Visqueen hats (snow peaks), East Coast blizzard (100 year snow), hi-way bond issue, vote, voice, seaport/airport update
1/22/96
One Whirled View with Roger Henry and Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Script: Pat Robertson
Music: Jimmy Swaggart
Ethical Standards: Jim Baker
Sponsored by Friends for Fermentation
“Public Access – The Final Frontier.”
These are the voyages of the starship One Whirled View.
Its 60 minute mission – to explore strange new ideas, to seek out new audiences and new time slots
To Boldly Go Where No Hosts Have gone Before.
Set Design: Righour Morts
Transportation: Catt Terpillah
Deprogramming: Peter Paul, Jr.
This program has been sponsored by Okra Cola, The Official Soft Drink of the 1996 Olympics.
Have you hugged your talk show host today? Call 444-3433 for the location of the host nearest you!
Today’s lottery number: 666999666
That’s it! We’re outta here! Absolutely no more! Not one bit! nada! nothing!
Don’t even ask!
Clips from Audio:
“One Whirled View, your high-fiber TV show … high fiber because we keep you regular.”
“Richard, this is God speaking to you, His chosen one. Put your clothes back on.”
“Richard’s the chosen one?”
“Put your clothes back on.”
“Looks like he’s been messing around with those hormones to me.”
Topics:
no hats, TV news can cause depression, scent, MCS, Gulf War Syndrome, brain function.
2/5/96
One Whirled View with Roger Henry and Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
No talk show hosts were harmed during the production of this program (sorry).
Cast of Characters: Roger Henry – Val Kilmer
Dan Vega – Al Pacino
Goldfinger – Orson Welles
Man in Raincoat in Park – William Shatner
Emma Peel – Madonna
Script: Gore Vidal, Jethro Bodine
Love theme sung by Slim Whitman & Diana Ross
Special Effects Crew: Elaine Honniker’s Fifth Grade Class Public School 666 Gravette, Arkansas
Roger Henry and Dan Vega will return in “One Whirled View VII – The Wrath of Newt”
So Long! Or, as your local retail giant might say, “Good buy!”
Thu End.
Clips from Audio:
“If it’s getting warmer, how come it’s so darn cold .. RECORD cold?”
Topics:
no hats, record low temps, Olestra, fats in diet, Pritikin, binge eating, obesity drug, Redux, landfill, positive mental attitude, June 21 – White Buffalo Prayer Day
3/4/96
One Whirled View with Roger Henry and Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Script: Peggy Noonan
Music: Steve Forbes and his Flat Sax Band
Sensitivity Lessons: Patrick Buchanan
Catering: Bubba’s BBQ Tofu Shoppe – Home of the world’s greatest granola ice cream. Now featuring choco-granite flavor.
Wait! Gotta Go! Tune in Next Week!
Next Week’s Episode “Lost in the Orient, or Few Men Chew!”
with special guest stars David Carradine, Chuck Norris, Bob Denver.
Gotta Go! “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen … Nobody knows but Mulder and Scully …”
So Long! Or, as your local retail giant might say, “Good buy!”
Next episode, the role of Roger Henry will be played by William Shatner.
Dan Vega will be played by Madonna.
Love theme sung by George Michael, Composed by Pat Robertson.
That’s it! We’re outta here! Absolutely no more! Not one bit! nada! nothing! Don’t even ask!
Good night, Mrs. Peel
Clips from Audio:
“All new and improved, this is not a rerun.”
“Not yet, but it will be.”
“Is that going to confuse us?”
“Hey, they’re already talking about us in weird ways.”
“The show that always promises you always the lower production values.”
Topics:
no hats, Malathion and cotton loss, bamboo & pandas, Nature, Chinese, cow virus, BIV, jumping species, AIDS, chimps & HIV, Rupert Sheldrake.
3/18/96
One Whirled View with Roger Henry and Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Chocolate Delivery: Candace Marie
Music: Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut Band
Security: The Three Musketeers
Catering: Hershey’s Mobile Chocolate Buffet
Humor Consultant: Sam Snickers
Animal Training: Kit Kat Menagerie
Set Design: Tina Twinkies
Audio: Dolly Madison.
So long! May all your Reeses be in pieces.
Goombye
Clips from Audio:
“One Whirled View is new and improved no fat, high fiber, and always the lowest production values.”
Topics:
no hats, new product warning from quantum science, stress mgt., eccentrics, benefits of laughter, free house printing, kiln, dust, lead exposure in children, stress relief, angels
4/1/96
One Whirled View with Roger Henry and Dan Vega
Special Guest Lisa Henry
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
This episode: “Sink the Bismark!”
Cast of Characters: Admiral Stinkorsky – Roger Henry
General Spitzball – Dan Vega
Commodore Madonna – Lisa Henry
The Role of Jack, the two-headed leviathon was played by Fred Hanna & Steve Parker
Written by C.S. Forester & Jackie Collins
Based on an original concept by Anton Chekov
Transportation: USS Bob Denver.
Gotta Go! Next week: Keelhauling in six Easy Lessons. Anchors Away!
Here’s hoping that when your ship comes in, it’s not a dinghy.
Next episode, the role of Roger Henry will be played Jimmy Swaggart
Dan Vega will be played Jerry Lee Lewis
Lisa Henry is Madonna (of course).
“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, nobody knows but my skipper …”
That’s it! We’re outta here! Absolutely no more! Not one bit! nada! nothing! Don’t even ask!
Dive! Dive! Dive! Run Silent
Clips from Audio:
“The family that fools together stays together.”
Topics:
clown clothes, Lisa on set, April Fool info, mad cow, secret weapons, 320 foot cell phone tower, landfills/hazwaste, children and toxics, dioxin
4/15/96
One Whirled View with Roger Henry and Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Special thanks to Doctor Ruth Westheimer for her assistance and advice
Videotaped at Lubyanka Broadcasting Company. LBC – The Comrade’s Choice.
Stay Tuned for Life with Lenin.
This week’s episode: The wacky Marxist takes his family to the famed Russian resort, Stalinland.
Sponsored by Yeltsin-Mart, Home of the famous Borshtburger
Have you hugged your Commissar today?
Tomorrow night on People’s Revolutionary Television – Nikita’s Island, The Flying KGB Agent, and The Adventures of Joe Stalin, Kremlin Cop.
Good night, Mrs. Kruschev, wherever you are.
Clips from Audio:
“The show that puts fun back in dysfunctional.”
4/29/96
One Whirled View with Roger Henry and Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Music: The Captain and Tenille
Animal Training: The Cowsills
Hair styling: Yul Brynner
Set Design: Nanny and the Professor
Transportation: My Mother the Car
Catering: The Vampire Lestat
Security: Frank Hardy, Nancy Drew.
No talk show hosts were harmed during the creation of this program. Darn!
Goodbye!
Next week the role of Dan Vega will be played by Pope John Paul II.
Roger Henry will continue to portray Tom Petty.
5/13/96
One Whirled View with Roger Henry & Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Music: Sigmund Freud and his Cranial Quartet
Hair styling: G. Gordon Liddy
Transportation: My Mother the Car
Security: Jack Armstrong Joe Palooka
No talk show hosts were harmed during the creation of this program. Darn!
Goodbye!
Next week the role of Dan Vega will be played by William Shatner
Roger Henry will continue Nambu the Jungle Boy.
Clips from Audio:
“The true artist is not one who draws or paints but rather the person whose whole life is adjusted to beauty in every thought and action.” – Havelock Ellis
5/27/96
One whirled View with Roger Henry & Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Cameras: Cecil B. DeMille, Ed Wood
Lights: Vampirella
Set Construction: Tor Johnson, Martin Landau
Audio: Alexander Graham Bell
Cablecaster: Kris Carson
Set Contributors: Han Solo, James Tiberius Kirk, Sky King, Chewbacca, Jim Guy Tucker, Steve McGarrett, Newt Gingrich
Graphics: Chuck Jones
Studio Camera Models: Kodak Brownie, Polaroid Swinger
Taped and Edited at Bountiful Access Television (B.A.T.) Fayetteville, Arkansas
To comment on this program write to Roger Henry, Cell Block H, 101 W. Rock.
Copyright 1996 Roger Henry Enterprises
Ha Ha. You thought we were done!
No! Never! We’ll Never Give Up Our Control Of The Air!
Oh, no! Not the dreaded Remote Control!
AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!!
Topics:
Garden hats, towards the One Whirled View, subsidies for petrostate and roads, how the news works, RH small head, Buffalo River news, Natural State vs theme parks, Forest Service attacks, ecotours in Newton County, insurance company losses for weather = $48B first 1/2 of ‘90s.
6/10/96
One Whirled View with Roger’s Henry & Dan’s Vega
June 10, 1996
Produced by Rutger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Screenplay: Roger Henrik & Dannetello Vega, based on the novel “Naked Came the Stranger”
Filmed on location in Prague, Thailand, Branson, Missouri
Special Effects: Radio Shack
Costumes: Kathie Lee Gifford
Music: Slim Whitman, Box Car Willie
Technical Advisor: Xaviera Hollander
Catering: Denny’s Dumpster Divers
Stay Tuned for our Next Exciting Show Here on Channel 8: “The Message Board”
Clips from Audio:
“Bringing you the latest in cosmic wisdom and understanding … ha ha ha!!!”
“God sleeps in stone, breathes in plants, dreams in animals, and awakens in Man.”
6/24/96
Oh No! It’s One Whirled View
Starring that Oscar Winning Rabbit Roger “Bugs” Henry & Dan “Daffy” Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Security: Ken “Yosemite” Teutsch
Odds ‘n ends: Jim “Casper” May
Cablecaster: Joey “Boo boo” Dutton
Music: Kris “Yogi” Carson
No elected officials were harmed during the production of this program. Not that we didn’t try!
Mr. Henry’s Assistant – Mongo Caine.
Mr. Vega’s Assistant – Jerry Springer
This episode was based on The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
Next Episode: Tom Swift and his Spectral Lubricant
So long!
Farewell!
We’re going back to our virtual realities!
7/8/96
One Whirled View Lite with Roger Henry & Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
One Whirled View Lite
with those Oscar winning rabbits Roger Henry and Dan Vega
Produced by Rogher ‘Enry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
People gathering in studio before taping: Ken Teutsch, Bill Ames, Jeff Waits
No immoral acts were committed during the creation of this program
But the uncut video is available!
This motion picture was filmed entirely on location (Gravette, Arkansas)
Script translated from the Italian by William F. Buckley
Voices: Roger Henry – Adam West
Dan Vega – Val Kilmer
This has been Won Werled Vuwe
Soundtrack available on K-Tel 8-Track
Read the novel by Tom Clancy
Gotta go!
Clips from Audio:
“This is the lite version of One Whirled View .. more satisfying and less filling. Or how about, less fulfilling.”
“Being an American means never having to walk to get a cold beer.”
“There’s a name for a beer – air satz lite.”
7/22/96
One Whirled View starring Roger Henious Henry and Dan Venal Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Ending credits:
One Whirled View
starring Roger Hernia Henry and Dan Venal Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Musical Director: Neil Sedaka
Acting Coach: William Shatner
Based on the BBC Series “One Bloody Whirled View”
Videotaped on location at Gungher Park, Fayetteville, Arkansas
Soundtrack available from Apex Recording featuring singing from the artists formerly known as Roger and Dan
The novelization of this episode: “The Hunt for Ted October” written by Tom Clancy and Gore Vidal available from US Government Publications Office
Research material provided by the Library of Saint John the Beheaded, London, England.
Goombye.
Clips from Audio:
“Leave your TV set on because it’s OWV, and we’re 50% off, and we leave it to the viewer to decide which half is off.”
8/5/96
The Institute for Comedic Values Presents
One Whirled View
“Starring” Roger Henry and Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Written by The Committee for Public Safety
Fact Checking: The Committee for Sanitized Television
Music: The Committee for Bland Music
Studio Facilities: Bland Access Television (B.A.T.) Gravette, Arkansas
Scoobie Doobie Doo!
8/19/96
One! Whirled! View!
One Whirled View
“Starring” Roger Henry and Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Cameras: Oogh Von Mouk, Buzz Sawyer
Audio: Juliet Jones
Graphics: Linus Van Pelt
Musical Score: Dick Grayson
Painting of “Mister X” by Paula Tyndale
Tax Advice: Jay Cole (I am),
Goodbye!
So Long!
Clips from Audio:
“First Fourth Annual Back to School Show.”
Disclaimer: “Rated CG-13. Childlike discretion is advised. Some of what you are about to witness may be unsuitable for dimviewers. If you are threatened by thoughts you’ve never had before, change channels now!”
9/9/96
The William Shatner Acting School presents
One Whirled View
“Starring” Roger Henry as Captain Roger T. Kirk & Dan Vega as Mister Vock
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Cameras: George Takei, Nichelle Nichols, Harry Mudd
Clothing provided by Saville Row
Music: T.J. Hooker and his Siren Swingers
Genetic Engineering: Mister Green Genes
Naval Engagements: Admiral Underwood
Entertainment: Dick Morris, Xaviera Hollander
Oh! Wow! Election Season! Adults spouting clichés with straight faces!
People forgetting elected officials’ voting records!
Gotta Go!
Tune in to our HBO Special!
Clips from Audio:
“Make it so so.”
“The show that protects you from repetitive motion injury of the brain, also known as cerebral tunnel syndrome.”
9/16/96
The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Progressives presents
One Whirled View
“Starring” Roger Henry & Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Set Arrangement: Lisa Henry
Music: Ilya Kuryakin
Cameras: Napoleon Solo, Matt Helm, Honey West
Taping and Editing Facilities: Lynchburg, Virginia
Gots to Go! Lots to do!
NO! I won’t go! Can’t Make me!
HA! HA! HA! You Can’t Get Rid Of Me!
Ho! Ho! Ho! Ain’t Goin’
Oh, no! I’m getting smaller!
Help! I’ll be good! I PROMISE!
PLEASE! One More Chance!
OH No! AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!
9/30/96
One Whirled View “with” Roger Henry
and uh oh, yeah! Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
In Living Color
In Stereo where available, In Monorail where not
Mr. Henry’s outfit provided by Bob Denver
Mr. Vega’s “outfit” provided by The Johnny Weismuller Collection
Script – Peggy Noonan & Woody Allen
Next week Roger and Dan will be at the Wal-Mart SuperCenter autographing their latest adventure – “Roger and Dan solve the Mystery of the Haunted Studio”
Check also for the straight to video version starring William Shatner as Roger “Torpedo Tube” Henry and Lee Majors as Dan “Cruise Missile” Vega.
Special Guest Star Frank Sinatra as “Huggy Bear.”
Gotta Go!
Don’t forget!!!!!!! Wherever you go, there you are . . .
Has anyone ever noticed just how inane that statement really is?
Good night.
Clips from Audio:
“This is the show which strives very hard to help you avoid repetitive motion injury of the brain, also known as cerebral tunnel syndrome.”
10/14/96
The Academy of Public Access presents:
One Whirled View
starring Sir Roger Henry and Sir Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
With Special Guests Marlon Brando, Val Kilmer, Adam West and Rob Lowe as “Princess Fergie.”
No cats were harmed (or eaten) during the production of this program.
For a limited time, Roger and Dan will be offering samples of themselves, available for the home cloning industry.
Call 444-3433 for information as to how you can own your very own talk show host!
All utility knives must be sterilized before samples can be taken!
Roger and Dan will be available for tilling gardens, burying pets, and reversing the polarity of your neutron flow.
A special thanks goes to all of Fayetteville’s alderman candidates, who have ALL begged to appear on this program . . .
Sorry … We want tunas that taste good, not tunas with good taste.
Gotta go! Don’t forget to tune in next week!
Same C.A.T. Time! Same C.A.T. Channel!
Till then: Relax, enjoy some lentil ice cream and granola kool aid!
10/28/96
The R.L. Stine Academy of Horrific Television is VERY PROUD to present:
“One Whirled View”
Producer Roger Henry
Director Richard S. Drake
Cameras Stephen King, Clive Barker
Audio Ray Bradbury
Set Nurse Henry Jekyll
Set Carpenter Vlad the Impaler
Set Design Doctor Caligari
Dialogue Coach Anne Rice
Bottled Water provided by Translvania Liquids “Let our rivers of blood – oops – we mean water – sustain you.”
This week’s mascot: “Slashy the Bear” designed by H.R. Giger.
The role of Roger Henry was played by Sigourney Weaver.
Dan Vega’s part has been played by Jack Nicholson.
Clothing Provided by Experienced Denim Fayetteville, Arkansas.
Music: George Romero’s Choir
Special Thanks to Bill Clinton and Bob Dole: the creepiest Halloween tricks of all . . .
AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!
Happy Halloween!!!!
Clips from Audio:
“Without the special effects we’d have no effect at all.”
“Don’t get confused by the spirits. Sometimes when we pay too much attention to the spirit world we have trouble with the physical world and it’s hard to tell witch is witch.”
11/25/96
“One Whirled View” with Roger Henry and Dan Vega
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Cameras: John Alden, Lanny Anderson
Audio Captain John Smith
Sappy Love Song Paul Bunyan
One Whirled View Love Theme – “Heiling Whirles” Sung by Barry White and Hank Williams, Jr.
Wardrobe provided by Bruce Wayne
Bad Weather provided by Someone with a really bad sense of humour
Roger and Dan will be appearing at the Church of the Ozarks with Sunday singing their favorite television themes … Sanitation Eddie and the Cruisers
Studio Audience provided by Stayrite Employment Agency
Taped and Edited at Community Access Television (C.A.T.) Fayetteville, Arkansas.
To comment on this program, write to: C.A.T. 101 W. Rock, Fayetteville, Arkansas 72701.
November 25, 1996.
Roger Henry William Shatner.
12/9/96
The United Network Command for Law and Enforcement (U.N.C.L.E.) presents
One Whirled View
“Starring” Roger Henry and ????? Oh, yes! Dan Vega!!!!
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Climate Control – Jack Frost
Music: Nat King Wenceslas
Costumes Provided by Santa’s Clothiers, (visit our main store – “north of the border”)
Cameras – David Donner, Bill Blitzen, Rudolph Von Knose
Technical Assistance – Jim “Elf” May
Taping and Editing Facilities – Christmas Access Television (C.A.T.)
Don’t forget the world premier of: “One Whirled View on 34th Street”
the long-awaited sequel to: “It’s a Wonderful One Whirled View.”
And don’t forget our USA Network Special “How the Grinch stole One Whirled View.”
Sponsored by Ebenezer Scrooge.
Script: Charles Dickens, Harold Robbins.
Love Theme: “Cashier Bells, Cashier Bells, Cash in all your dough …”written and sung by Madonna Cratchit.
Don’t forget to buy The Roger and Dan Action Figures!!!!!
Available from Make-a-Buck-Mart free with the purchase of any totally useless item – which just happens to be most of our product line!
Cultural Experience provided by Donald Trump, Pat Robertson.
Next episode Roger and Dan will be on vacation!
Their roles will be played by Adam West and William Shatner for a special show entitled “One Whirled Hot Air View.”
Gotta Go!
God Bless us, everyone!
12/16/96
It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s It’s One Whirled View
Produced by Roger Henry
Directed by Richard S. Drake
Cameras Jimmy Olsen
Script Larry Flynt, Isaac Asimov
Security Doc Savage
Love Theme: “Having My Baby” sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Refreshments; Big Al’s Eggnog and Muffler One-Stop
Last Show of 1996!!!!
Come to theaters this spring for the epic Roger and Dan adventure “One Whirled Baywatch,”
the sequel to “The Curse of the Flying Wombat.”
As always, this program starred Roger Henry and Dan Vega.
So long! Farewell! Auf Wiedersehn! Goodbye!
See you in 1997!
Our first show in January will feature special guest stars: Barney the Dinosaur, Hulk Hogan.
Goodnight!
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Last major modification 2/12/09