Second, having some stress related to the accelerated timeline I have laid out for this summer. Hopefully it will stay as neatly resolved as it seems to have quickly become. Flare-up then abrupt fix, leaving me feeling a bit bewildered by it. Should I have let it bother me so much to begin with? The disquietude was properly rousing to motion. So I think overall, I was right to let it bother "so much".
I channeled a distant Bowman's thoughts when I saw some cheap flip-flops. We'll see how that goes.
About that proto-principle. David D. and I had a nice converse about that some time back. Result: horse blinders. This is a fruitful depiction of the idea because it is nice and iconic. Familiar to most, the easy idea that the horse is missing the big picture. Because we see the horse's situation from the outside, there is amusement and also some sympathy for the poor creature whose mind would not be able to productively focus without its comfortable, imposed limitation. That we are the ones imposing the limitation on the other (in the horse case) makes all the clearer the absurdity of our putting the limit on ourselves. Add to that the twist that it is one's goals that cause us to so limit our own view, and we get something close to a finished product. "Don't let your goals become blinders." Also works in various other referencing forms: "that might be a blinding goal you have there", "you may be a bit goal-blinded." "Goalblind" sounds sorta like "Snowblind", the name of several songs.
Anyway, late now. Time to rejoin my regularly scheduled dreamlife.
Or something. I'm a bit un-fused from pulling that final all-nighter for the end of the semester. My brain-time for the day is a memory before 11am.
I'd like to think I can get something done on the master's thesis process today. Jump straight from this pan into that fire; strike the iron while I'm still used to the heat in the kitchen... so to speak. But I'd like even more to admit that isn't going to happen. So I think I'll do that.
Respite, relax, rejuvenation, reboot.
See that? I automatically phrased it as "confront". Not "write" or "work on". No no, I phrased it in a term containing some hostility, some opposition.
There is me. And there are papers. And we are face to face in a struggle.
Not a good way to see it. It comes from my previous, long experience with other papers. I find it all too easy to hold all that baggage against these current assignments. Or maybe, to use those current to reblame myself to those past.
Whatever. All that is distraction. Discerning the patterns can be done later. Now I need to re-view the current papers. See them in a new light that changes them from guilt producers in the now, to sources of future happiness.
Here is me. Here are the papers. And together we struggle towards a common goal. To find their voices and express them well. Together, perhaps we can succeed.
The question presupposes two possibilities. There being something, and there being nothing.
But wait a tick... are there? I mean, are there really two possibilites?
I can understand why we would think that the first "possibility" is a genuine possibility. The stuff around. That can seem a rather compelling case.
The other "possibility"? What should make one think that "there could have been nothing" is a genuine possibility?
Should I apply the concept of subtraction to the concept of a set of all things, and then assume that the somethings and nothing are going to behave like the concepts of them? In the history of humans, somethings haven't always been so "nicely" behaved, and I'm not sure that nothing has either.
I don't really have much personal experience with nothing. Not much for me to induct upon when figuring out if it is possible to have, without having the somethings here and there too.
What kind of basis would even make a good ground for deciding? Is this something I should ask a more skilled physicist? They know much more about the type of nothing with somethings here and there too, would they be able to extrapolate what nothing without the somethings would behave like, and if it is possible? And how far off should I think real nothing will be from such a theoretical nothing? Could there be good error bars on these predictions about nothing?
Not much to go on.
First, my tissues seem to be mending (albeit slowly). So, I'm optimistic that the doctor's theory about my uninformative pain is correct. That being, inflammation of the connective tissue around the muscles that were recently overstrained. It was such a different feeling pain that I dismissed a connection too quickly. Lession learned: neighboring tissues can generate quite different sorts of pain. Yet, the best part of the theory is that it came with an expert's calming authority. With my worry circuits thus quieted, the discomfort became a pale shadow of itself. Second lession (this one relearned, again): expectations frame perceptions and thus our reality.
Master's thesis work is proceeding as desired. Some techs are in town installing a neat e-beam deposition machine with some angle control bells and whistles. I'll be watching that a lot more tommorrow.
Nice potluck lastnight. I pulled from the far past for a cornbread+. Stephen gets credit for starting my work on cornbread+. Although it is a great dish and seldom comes out badly, I usually come away thinking that I didn't have much control of it. I choose what to add for the "+" and where they should be in the cornbread, but there is still that "put it in for 20 min and cross your fingers" part of baking something, I guess. I want to try versions in an assortment of container shapes, which should keep me busy until I can think my way around the problems with "Encapsulation".
Next topic, our frail bodies age poorly. We need modificaitons of the right sort. As they are, they give us less than the most useful of information while they decay.
Example: couple weeks back, running a machine at hidec was physically isomorphic to hours of low impact bend-squat type exercise. This overstressed some muscles and tendon type bits of my construction. No biggie, nicely these parts are capable of self-repair with only some annoyance while they do so. Still, it caught me by surprise a whole 24 hours after the stressor activity. Leading me to realize that they could have done better to just let me know about that stressing while I was doing it. Why no early reporting system leg? Just a little fyi sent in for us neurons to know changes in your situation before they are such trouble, or heck even when they become trouble. Twenty-four hours is a bit of a time lag.
Forward to now, and another pain. The sensors, again, don't supply the more helpful bits of information I would like to have about it. Make an area hurt while walking about to (among other things) get sustenance? Sure, they can do that. Tell me which of the several subsytems in that general area is in disfunction? Nope, no sensor data on that. Sure the squeaky wheel..., but not if it is one of dozens which can't be told apart by squeak alone. Such poor construction.
Bionic organs and tissues will someday put messages in our inboxes with slide shows of anatomical reminders, links to doctor advice, etc. In the PKD version of this future vision, someone, sometime will be forced to wonder if their kidney really needs this medicine that it wants them to buy, or if it is just trying to sell them something. In my version, we just forward such messages to our stem-cell organ and it schedules a replacement cycle.
Then, after eating, I got a long overdue haircut. Hot weather has started and my head was not yet properly topped. So gone is the mop.
Then more water dripping for science. Seemed to go well, only it skirted the edge of my proto-principle of "not setting up a situation where success is one of the worse things that could happen." See, the measure of when the dripping was going well equalled when it was getting more and more painfully slow. This instance only hits the edge of the proto-principle (so called, because I've yet to find the perfect, memory-friendly/catchy, phrasing for it) because it wasn't like it really took all that long even when it got slow; so I'll supply a more quintessential example.
Imagine that you are trying to open some recalcitrant jar. So you place it in vice, or some such, which happens to be about face high. You apply a wrench, or some such, and then start pulling with all you got. Now, within this situation, the worse thing that could now happen is for you to succeed with your original goal or opening the jar, as that would also mean that some wrench handles are coming at your face, rapidly, for an interface.
Now I'm sure that the reader saw that problem coming, which is why it makes a good illustration of the principle. But I think we, more often than we realize, frame our goals and/or construct our solutions/strategies in such ways that put us in more complex versions of essentially the same situation.
A longer term example. Hunger, desire for sustenance, leads one to form a goal of "getting food", then that goal is framed with "quick as can be done". This leads, for some, to the behavior pattern of eating fast food more than is healthy; which can lead to health problems. See, without knowing it, the worst thing that could have happened for the person who has eaten this way for years and starts off for the local burger joint again, is for them to actually get there as planned. The car breaking down, thus forcing them to walk and realize they are out of shape, might have been a failure for the way they were directing their energy, but it also might have been better for them. The source of the problem can be traced back, not to the reasonable goal of food, but to the framing around the goal of "quick" instead of "good stuff". Gotta watch the framing.
Anyway, enough rambling. You see why I need a catchy phrasing. That mishmash explanation above. I need something that compresses it all quick and neat.
Completed the dreaded federal taxes computations. So that minor bit of stress is put to rest. I fall into the poor student category, and as such my taxes are so simple that I'm forced to wonder why I should be asked to do any of it. I mean, all my sources of income already report the relevant information to the IRS at the same time they report it to me, don't they? I think they do, and if so, the IRS already figures out all the numbers. So why make me do it too? Seems like just setting me up for a chance to make a mistake and be penalized. They should just send me the results of their calculations, and if they look right to me, I'll sign and send back. When my taxes stop being so simple as to admit of this process, I'll stop signing and then do the calculations myself.
Learned more clean room equipment this week and thus brought my scheduled training sessions to an end. Fun, fun. Then, Friday I watched water drip... for science. Tomorrow morning I will go in to do some more stuff, which might seriously wreck my usual sunday errands and throw off some chore schedules. Oh well.
New Dr Who episodes are starting on the other side of the planet. Bless the internet. :-)
I can't seem to make another break through on Splash Back. Darn.
Been a bit since my last writing. Heck, that was before spring break. Went home to see the fam. Good time there. After getting back, my potluck dish was a new transnational one, Tortelloni Curry. Still learning how to temper curry heat properly.
Last weekend some architects were in town, some I knew even. Very nice night out with them on the historic last night of food serving at Brewski's. About that, this town has lost a place for fine burgers, and everyone that voted for that smoking ban should feel at least a little ashamed for it.
On the school front, Master's thesis stuff is moving along. I've recently learned how to operate the XM-8, which is a fun sputtering machine. Soon, oxide deposition, lithography, etc. Other classes seem a dull, blur. Which might explain why I have let a few deadlines creep uncomfortably close.
SplashBack is still the reigning flash game. I've cleared 29 levels. Oh what a great day that was. Still brings warmth to my heart. It started as an ordinary game, perhaps even a bit badly, then it turned around and my goo tank rocketed up into the 30's. When the crash finally found its teeth I was at level 25, and it took a while to bring me down. Even so, around level 21 to 22 is my current, typical good game.
Sleep. Much to do tomorrow.
Well, I had a bit of a schism last week, and with some reassurance from Stephen that I seemed to be thinking rationally, I dropped the class that was taking the most out-of-class time so that I could speed along my master's thesis work. In retrospect, I feel it was a good decision.
Went to Hot Springs last weekend. Several people from Fay-ville and many of Bowman's classmates from various places were among the sojourners.
It was interesting seeing the town again. I had felt somewhat disembodied during my ten year reunion visit, and this time I was better able to process being there again. The mixture of alien and home was peculiar. I really should have found some time to stroll about alone and consider it more.
Won a bit of money at Oaklawn gross, although net I was down around 50 cents (can't recall exactly). 50 cents for the hours of entertainment is a pretty good deal.
Later I had a rather zen "Attention!" surprise in the form of a wasp stinging me on the finger. Serves me right for being so inattentive to my surroundings. Looking back, I'm glad it got away to live and sting another day. Except that it was trapped in a hotel room, so it likely only made it somewhere under some furniture to starve. Fare well my little zen master.
Bowman returned to Fay-ville with us to brighten the city on the hill this week, and that has been cool.
Some funny comics at http://explodingdog.com/ .
Studied today for a test I have tomorrow. Open notes and book, so I need to do a mass printout and look over those in the morning. Ate at Hogwild Pizzeria after that. Very good.
I think I'm watching too much TV these days. And having a sci-fi book to read has pushed my sleep schedule back off where I was aiming. So much stuff I feel I should set straight.
I read 1632 by Eric Flint over the past few days. It is the first book I've read on my Nokia770, which did quite well. The book itself is about a town in West Virgina that gets transported back in time and across space to northern Germany. It caught my eye because I occasionally wonder how I would survive in the A Conneticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court scenario. Sort of a "what do I know how to do" thought experiment.
Potluck was quite nice this week, as was Monday night. And the weather today was very nice. Got to open up the windows and air the place out a bit. Living in an environment that does not rob my body of thermal energy is nicer than in one that does.
I've been reluctant to add any entries to this small island of world three because of the doubts about what I wish to put on this island. I've thought about it by measuring topics on several metrics. Like "level of care I have" and "level of others knowing". On those two, things like SSN, bank accound info, and normal secrets measure high on the first and quite negative on the second. Things like how dirty my floor is or other trivial minutia of life is very near the origin. Some things are like vectors. The fact that I'm a cool person is something with a low level of knowing (for the general public), but I would like to move it higher, still it doesn't rank all that high on the caring metric.
The other major angles I've considered are "audience" and "projected role". Is the writing for me (in which case the public venue is unproductive, to say the least)? Is it for friends? Is it for the future AIs that will someday decide to read the whole internet archive? Future possible employers? Strangers? Each of these has implications on more than just what topics I write on, but also tone, level of detail, etc.
And then there is the "projected role." The bit above about the furture AI might imply a role something like a historian. Some blogs are clearly journalistic in projected role. Both of these, btw, imply some behavior of fact checking, mistake noting, etc. While other blogs are clearly weblink conduits, sometimes with, sometimes without, quick opinion sharing.
In completely other realms. I've just concocted some soup with a creamy butternut squash base. Quite nice. The base goes with all my usual favorites. Potatoes, tomatoes, spinich, carrot, Garam Masala (my favorite spice), several cheeses. At first, I warmed some up alone and then sampled it with each of the others; a fun kind of experiment, I assure you (and one that I should repeat).
Also, I did some cleaning (and moving things) in my place tonight. I'm almost done drinking a blue bottle of spring water that Dave left when he moved out (among the things that were marked "disappearable". I almost just tossed it/poured it out. Then I thought of the resources that my species had put into getting that water in that bottle and that bottle to sitting on my self for too long. If I die by strange water borne contagion, this might be it, but so far it has tasted quite nice. Although, not as good as that overpriced Fiji water that is somehow the best I've had (but still overpriced).
Dave and I went to a Fayetteville Master Plan public workshop meeting. I came away from it with the feeling that I like most of the other table's results better than the results of the table I was at. Our level of constraints kept changing from moment to moment. Was it glorious vision of the shining future? Was it where things just fit for practical use? Was it to fit/include what some likely prediction shows? Assume some nice public transportation system or don't? Not enough top down coordination, so our result looked less pretty.
I have some belief in the general truth of "there are no stupid questions". However, some people very much strain that belief. Or maybe it is only true in some context other than graduate level university classes, in which there can be stupid questions. For when a line of questions imply the impossiblity of some everday thing, like magnifying glasses, then surely other people around sometimes have a right to expect the person asking to think a bit before taking (read: wasting) their time.
Anyway. Monday night out. Good times. Mill talk, my class frustrations (see above), the future of Fay-ville urban design, Dune, my idea of a good wedding, viruses taking our free will, and much more.
Now home, listening to a bit of Sara Thomas.