1. Intimacy component:

• Feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness.
• Emotional component

(a) desiring to promote the welfare of the loved one

(b) experienced happiness with the love one

(c) high regard for the loved one

(d) being able to count on the loved one in times of need

(e) mutual understanding with the loved one

(f) sharing of one's self and one's possessions with the loved one

(g) receipt of emotional support from the loved one

(h) giving of emotional support to the loved one

(i) intimate communication with the loved one

(j) valuing the loved one in one's life.
 

2) Passion Component:

• Drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation
• Motivational component
• Typically the first to develop in a love relationship.

 

• Two Aspects:

(A) The decision that one loves someone

(B) Commitment to maintain that love

2) Liking:

• Intimacy alone (Friendships)

 

• Passion alone (love at first sight, idealization, & obsession)

 

• Decision/Commitment alone (stagnant relationships)

 

• Intimacy + Passion

 

• Decision/Commitment + Intimacy

 

• Passion + Decision/Commitment (whirl-wind courtships)
• Associated with the most distress.

 

• Complete love-- the best of all three components.

1) Intimacy:

• Increases steadily at first, then grows at a slower rate, and finally levels off.
• Manifest vs. Latent

 

• Develops rapidly in the beginning, followed by habituation.
• Similar to drug addiction: Tolerance and Withdrawal.

 

• Usually starts at zero and increases overtime.

 

• Intensity determines the size of the triangle.
• Balance determines the shape
• Triangles point in the direction of the largest component

 

• Ideal is the desired love for the other
• Real is the actual love for the other
• Level of mismatch determines satisfaction

 

III) Self-Perceived vs. Other-Perceived:
 
 
 

• Passionate love is "A state of intense longing for union with another."

 
• Companionate love is "the affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply entwined."

 

Stendhal's Theory of Passionate Love (On Love, 1822)
 

1) Admiration:

• Initial idealization occurs.

 

• Is there hope of being loved in return?

 

5) Crystallization: (most important stage)
 

• Crystallization is the process of transforming an ordinary person into glittering perfection in the mind of the lover-- idealization.

 

7) Second Crystallization:
 

Stendhal's theory of passionate love emphasizes:

1)
 

2)
 

3)
 

Hatfield's Passionate Love:
 

• Passionate love consists of two-factors:

(1) physiological arousal

(2) belief that this arousal is caused by a reaction to the beloved.

Cognitive Biases and Distortions:

• Misattribution--

• Excitation Transfer--

 

Self-generated attitude change:
 

The Bridge Experiment (Dutton and Aron, 1974)
 

Results:
 
 
 

Conclusion:

• Arousal in the fear condition was misattributed when the context permitted.

 

Results:
 
 

Conclusion:

• Arousal could be misattributed to affect impressions in either direction.

 

Companionate love:
 

• Companionate or friendly love rests on a foundation of admiration, trust, & intimacy.

• "the affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply entwined."

 
 
• Involves a cognitive, emotional, and behavioral component.
• Emotional component = intimacy
 
• Behavioral component = love acts and comfort in presence of beloved
 
• Cognitive component = mutual self-disclosure & decision of love and/or commitment
 

• In the service of self disclosure:

 
• Distinguishing fact from fiction:

• The story gives the relationship meaning in the context of our lives.

 
 
• Social Constructivism and the subjective nature of reality

• Scripts
• Where do stories come from: The naive scientist perspective

• New stories are often selective combinations of portions of old ones plus new material stemming from new relationships

• Stories control how relationships develop:

 
• Stories are hard to change:

• Cognitive Dissonance- (on first glance)